Tonight is the American Horror Story: Coven finale and the big question will finally be answered: who is the next Supreme? Fiona’s time is up and someone will step in to perform the Seven Wonders and take their place as the biggest, baddest witch in town. I’m going to be real honest with you: I have no effing idea who the next Supreme is. Usually, I can predict these things pretty well, but not this time. I literally have no clue who it will be. So, let’s take a look at all the possible candidates and see if we can figure it out together:
Zoe and her killer vagina (Seriously, that’s her power, right? Her vagina kills people?) was an early front-runner for the Supreme gig. She’s the only one really desperate to turn the coven around and start taking care of her fellow witches. Plus, she’s packing some pretty powerful magic. Remember when she shot lasers out of her hands or something and it killed all the zombies? That was cool. Then again, I wonder if Zoe isn’t too obvious.
Surprise, bitch! Madison came back from the dead in perfect health (no more heart murmur for this diva) and it’s clear that her powers have been growing. Her newly strong abilities helped her lock Misty Day up in a crypt and she’s a total pro at telekinesis – as evidenced by the way she whacked Zoe in the head with that lamp. But what kind of ending would it be, if someone just as vain and spiteful as Fiona took over? That’s not really doing anything interesting with the story, is it?
I know she isn’t a likely choice, since she’s basically forsaken her coven to go back to her voodoo roots and all, but let’s be real: Queenie is seriously badass. First of all, her voodoo doll trick is awesome. Secondly, she came back from the dead on her own. She got shot and then spit out the bullet. Plus, she had sex with a dead Minotaur and lived to tell the story, and none of the other girls can say that, can they?
Probably not the Supreme, since she’s been nothing but a weepy, oblivious dumbass for the majority of the season. I mean, you guys, she was married to a witch hunter and she didn’t see it – and that was before she lost her eyesight. Plus, Fiona’s daughter? Too obvious. Then again, she did stab her own eyes out to give herself The Sight and that was neat, I guess. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Sure, Nan’s dead, but that doesn’t mean anything on American Horror Story. Dead people come back to life all the time! When we last saw Nan, she was prancing off with Papa Legba, making her way to a bigger and better afterlife. But before she was murdered in the bathtub, she was able to control people’s actions, read minds and plenty more. It would be a great surprise if she came back and took over as Supreme.
The clear choice for most of the season, Misty Day can bring people back from the dead – that was once something only she could do, but now lots of girls can do it, so I guess our shawl wearing Stevie Nicks fangirl isn’t all that special anymore. I sincerely doubt it’s going to be her, since she seems pretty clueless when it comes to using any of her other gifts. Plus, it’s never the one they say it is.
Man, I wish it could be Myrtle Snow! Not only would it be fantastic for her to finally one-up Fiona, but look at her! That witch is legit. She’s got the look, she’s got the attitude…not to mention that it takes a supreme badass to scoop out some eyeballs with a melon baller and give Cordelia back her eyesight. But alas, I think Myrtle is too old.
Can men even be witches? I have no idea. But even if they can’t, the council should make an exception for Spaulding. So what if he’s dead? He’s so pretty!
Hey, why not? It’s Stevie Nicks.
Who do you think it will be?