Have you ever wanted to give your favorite Real Housewife a meaningless award? Well settle down, because now you can. Bravo has finally decided to start handing out awards to the craziest ladies of the Real Housewives franchise. Yes, these awards are completely insignificant, but who cares? Voting for things is fun. You can cast your vote over on the Bravo website, but here is the full list of categories and nominees. I put a little star next to my vote.
Alexis (RHOC) *
I voted for Alexis, because she’s the only one who (probably) doesn’t have a weave – at least since she cut it off. As for Kyle and Hoysay – I don’t believe for one second that their hair is real. Just saying.
Most Shocking Reunion Twist
Ramona tells Andy he’s picking on her about being a wino (RHONY)
Adriana heard (from Brandi Glanville) that Joanna broke up Yolanda Foster’s previous marriage (RHOM)
Briana heard Brooks say some horrible things to her mother (RHOC)
Caroline says she can’t be friends with Teresa anymore (RHONJ)
Kenya’s all, “Maybe you should stop texting me” to Apollo (RHOA) *
Kyle calls Yolanda a liar (RHOBH)
Best Fight Locale
The Eiffel Tower (Lisa vs. Kyle – RHOBH)
St. Barths (Everyone vs. Aviva – RHONY) *
Whistley (Tamra vs. Vicki – RHOC)
The gym (Teresa vs. Joe – RHONJ)
The bridal shop (Lots of people vs. Kandi’s mom – RHOA)
An elevator bank (Lisa vs. Marysol – RHOM)
Not really voting for the locale here…I just thought that whole trip to St. Barths was epic.
Best Supporting Agitator
Slade (“This person looks like a muppet!” – RHOC)
Lauri (“They were both in bed with another man” – RHOC) *
Kandi’s mom (“You don’t introduce two short people with big heads”) – RHOA
Joanna’s make-up artist (“No talent, no money, honey!” – RHOM)
Faye (“I am not going anywhere” – RHOBH)
Kim D (“It was just weird that you and Teresa were there at the same time” – RHONJ)
If you come back to a show years later just to accuse someone of a threesome, you deserve an award. You go, Lauri.
Most Memorable Outfit
Gretchen’s proposal outfit (RHOC)
Teresa’s Gotti lunch outfit (RHONJ)
Kenya’s Phaedra impression outfit (RHOA)
Sonja’s snow hat (RHONY) *
Yolanda’s white pants (RHOBH)
Joanna’s wedding dress (RHOM)
I mean, come on.
“Do you want me to pop a vein?”- Heather, RHOC
“I want to be banged like a chicken cutlet every now and then” – Lisa H., RHOM
“That’s too bitchy, I shouldn’t say it – but I’m awfully glad I did” – Lisa V., RHOBH
“Take a Xanax, calm down” – Ramona, RHONY
“I’m into older men” – Milania, RHONJ
“I want all the alcohol” – NeNe, RHOA *
Ramotional Ramona = EPIC, but nothing beats NeNe.
Party of the Year
Aviva’s anniversary party (RHONY) *
Joanna’s bachelorette party (RHOM)
Tamra’s gym dinner (RHOC)
NeNe’s pillow talk party (RHOA)
Ken and Mauricio’s birthday (RHOBH)
Ummmm…I’ll just leave this here…
Rookie of the Year
Aviva, Carole or Heather (RHONY) *
Joyce or Carlton (RHOBH)
Kenya or Porsha (RHOA)
Obviously, I voted for Aviva. She’s certifiable.
Outstanding Achievement in Extremely Short Form Live Action
(all courtesy of RealityTVGifs)
Kenya Twerks (RHOA)
Kim “faints” (RHOBH)
Brandi chugs wine (RHOBH)
Milania loves being a diva (RHONJ)
Ramona is shocked (RHONY) *
Vicki loves candy (RHOC)
Can you tell that RHONY is my favorite?
OMG-est Moment of the Year
Adriana doesn’t want Romain (RHOM)
Brandi calls Joyce a “big fat pig” (RHOBH) *
Joe vs. Joe in Lake George (RHONJ)
LuAnn and the pirate (RHONY)
Porsha and the Underground Railroad (RHOA)
Vicki leaks (RHOC)
Lifetime Achievement Award
There’s no place to vote, but it could be anyone. Who do you think deserves it? I have to say, one of the classics should win. Teresa, Lisa Vanderpump or Vicki all have a fair shot, but my vote goes to
Turtle Time Ramona. Sorry, Vicki.
The winners will be announced March 23.