You guys, my favorite Bravo franchise is back: The Real Housewives of New York City! Yes, RHONY is back and I’m super psyched. Even though I will never, ever get over the loss of Kelly Bensimon (SCARY ISLAND: NEVER FORGET) I am looking forward to a new season. Luckily, the premiere didn’t disappoint.
1. After the end of season five and its long hiatus between filming season six, it looks like everyone got closer…everyone but Aviva. Her attempt to stand taller than her cast mates has left her all alone on her high horse. So now she’s running around like a sad puppy, trying to make nice with the other housewives. So far, it’s…only sort of working.
2. Sonja might start banging* Aviva’s ex-husband Harry again. This is mostly gross and not interesting, but it will probably make Aviva angry if it happens. Then again, Sonja is so busy banging guys in their twenties, maybe she doesn’t need Harry at all.
3. You can tell that Heather and her friends are all juuuuust slightly too old to be cool anymore, because they all still call Diddy “Puff Daddy.” For the record, I also still call him Puffy. Ladies from the 90s! HOLLA!
4. New housewife Kristen is gorgeous, hilarious and not so much into her children. She probably loves her kids more than it seems, she’s just more honest about how being a mom f*cking sucks. Her words, not mine.
5. Her husband Josh, however, seems like he’s super condescending. He teases her about being dumb and not having a real job. The dumb thing is possible, but I’m pretty sure being a mother of two and a working model counts as having a job. Hmm.
6. “Crazy drunk aunts” is the most accurate description of Sonja and Ramona I’ve heard yet. Thank you, Kristen.
7. Sonja is still doing that thing where she talks about her vagina all the time. Yay?
8. True confession: I’m really not a Ramona Singer fan. However, when she turned down Aviva’s offer of a hug, it was pretty epic. Not to mention that Aviva’s apology included implying that Ramona was old. “You’ve got a couple of years on me,” she says. OMG.
9. Carole continues to have no place on this show, but her one-liners make her worth keeping around.
10. The woman Sonja invited to tea with Kristen and Ramona? “Is not our character revealed when the chips are down?” “Don’t relate to her personality…relate to her soul.” WHAT? WHO WAS THIS WOMAN?! I want her to attend every Real Housewives event and maybe she can bring Allison DuBois and her electric cigarette. It would be the perfect party.
11. Aviva is so desperate to get back into Ramona’s good graces that she will get bombed to do it. The typically sober Aviva tried to apologize once…twice…three times to no avail. So despite her dislike of drinking (and understandably, due to the history of alcoholism in her family) she went straight to the tequila shots in a last ditch effort to mend fences with Ramona.
12. “She is sucking up my ass bigtime,” is probably something Ramona shouldn’t have said out loud.
13. WHERE IS THE COUNTESS?
*TM Vanderpump Rules