I don’t know what’s going on with The Voice this season, but I feel like me and the judges are operating on totally different wavelengths. Every person I am rooting for, they send home. Every contestant I am ambivalent about, they lose their minds. Am I tone deaf? For instance, what the heck is up with Audra McLaughlin? I think she is talented, but I think her voice strains…a lot. And then every time I start to like her, she talks about how hard her life was because she struggled with her GPA or something, which just makes me want to smack her. But hey, Blake loves her. Fine. Then they send Cierra Mickens home. WHAT?! It was bad enough when Usher didn’t pick her. But then former coach Shakira didn’t even go for the save? So disappointing. Sigh.
But let’s concentrate on the good stuff! I was surprisingly impressed by Team Blake’s battle between Jake Worthington and Tess Boyer. Jake is one of those guys who I really like, if I’m not watching him sing. I just cannot take him seriously. I want to pinch his cheeks and make him soup or something. But when he’s singing? Damn. Blake picked him as winner of the battle, but all three coaches fought to steal Tess. After Shakira basically said she’d murder people, Tess wisely chose Team Shakira as her new home.
Is anyone else really tired of One Republic? I mean, what is their connection to The Voice? They are on more than Carson Daly, right? Anyway, Team Adam’s first battle of the night was between Christina Grimmie and Sam Behymer. Christina really improved since last week, man. They both sounded great and Sam is barely doing that weird pronunciation thing anymore. Unfortunately, they sang One Republic, but I’m pretty sure they were forced at gunpoint to do so, so it’s not their fault. Despite the terrible song, both vocalists were very strong. Adam chose Christina as the winner of the battle and I was pretty shocked that no one stole Sam.
So what did you all think of Chris Martin, by the way? I think he’s charming as hell, even though his presence had us under attack by the world’s longest promotional hashtag: #ChrisMartinOnTheVoice. Sheesh. But he had some good tips like, “find the note” and “you need props.” He transformed the battle from Team Shakira between Josh Murley and Patrick Thomson by encouraging them to play with mic stands like Steven Tyler. Hey, whatever works. Both of these dudes were stolen from Team Adam and they rocked out on “Run To You” – I wish I could say it was the Whitney Houston version from The Bodyguard, but I mean the Bryan Adams song. It was okay! I was not into either of them until this moment! Maybe I’m just biased toward Bryan Adams songs. Patrick won and will remain on Team Shakira.
The last battle of the night was the real show stopper. Team Adam put two of his strong soul singers against each other: Josh Kaufman and Delvin Choice. Hey remember when Josh sang Pharrell Williams’s “Happy”? Did you hear that Pharrell will replace CeeLo next season as the new coach who wears funny clothing? Are you looking forward to an entire season of his Smokey the Bear hat? Me either! Anyway, Josh and Delvin sang the totally played out “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours,” which will always make me think of TV commercials. But it was really good! Adam chose Delvin and Usher quickly stole Josh for his team.