You guys, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion is finally over. God, did that last like a year or what? Like I said last week, I think they record too much footage for these reunion specials, because they really end up feeling redundant. Of course, that doesn’t mean we didn’t get some juicy moments. This week was all about Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Brandi cried a lot. Kyle yelled. Yolanda was the voice of reason. Carlton and Joyce were irrelevant and Kim still loves turtles. Let’s talk about some of the more interesting bits from part 3 of the reunion.
Most confusing situation: I don’t know what to think about this whole thing between Brandi, Lisa and Scheana Marie. Don’t get me wrong: I fully believe that Lisa Vanderpump is calculating and strategic. You don’t become the HBIC by sitting idly by. But what would she gain by setting Brandi up to run into Scheana time and time again? Was this all a very, very long play to build popularity for Vanderpump Rules and set up a plot to make Scheana famous and get press for the show? It seems pretty mean spirited and far-fetched. Then again…why does Brandi keep running into Scheana? It does happen a lot and she shouldn’t have to deal with it, if her supposed friend has control over the situation. Then again, Brandi is voluntarily on this show (and has voluntarily appeared on Vanderpump Rules) so it’s not like she’s being held at gunpoint to wind up in the same places. I don’t really know what to make of this situation.
Most hilarious smackdown: Carlton must’ve felt pretty irrelevant during this reunion. No one even talked to her. When she tried to butt in, Kyle told it straight: “Shut up, Carlton. No one gives a f*ck about you. Lisa doesn’t even give a f*ck about you.” Ha.
Thing I never want to hear again: “You wrote in your blog…”
Best other-show-shade thrown by Lisa: “I can’t stand Kristen.”
Biggest are-you-kidding-me moment: I cannot believe that this group of grown ass adults sat around debating whether or not Carlton put a spell on Joyce’s husband and gave him like, an evil Wiccan stomach flu or something. Come on, guys.
Time I tuned out and played on Tumblr: I cannot listen to Brandi cry about how her weird father/daughter relationship with Ken has been ruined. It’s creepy and boring at the same time. Why would I want to watch a grown man, holding a toy dog dressed in a frilly purple suit, make a grown woman cry? Ugh.
Best toast: Kim with her soda in a champagne flute.
Least likely to return next year: Carlton is going to get fired, right?
See you next season, ladies!