Battle Rounds On The Voice: I Don’t Even Know What’s Going On Anymore

Source: NBC
Source: NBC

It’s the year 2058 and we’re on night 21,170 of The Voice battle rounds. I am reporting from the afterlife on the best and worst performances. I died a long time ago, but that’s okay. I will still watch in the hopes that one day we actually start this competition. On this night, Blake used his final steal and the coaches eliminated lots of people I liked. It kind of sucked. You know what else sucked? Some of the performances. I don’t know why, but several of the contestants picked songs that were just waaaaaay out of their capabilities. The Team Adam performance where they tried to sing Usher’s “Climax”? Didn’t work. The Team Usher performance where they attempted “Girl On Fire” by Alicia Keys? Definitely out of their league. The Team Usher performance where Bria Kelly and Madilyn Paige struggled through The Pretenders’ “I’ll Stand By You”? Painful.

But that doesn’t mean they were all bad.The first performance of the night was between Clarissa Serna and Dani Moz on Team Shakira. I haven’t been fully behind the four-chair turner Clarissa since her blind audition, but she does have a very strong voice. She and Dani sang Pink’s “Perfect,” which is a hard one to handle. They both did a really good job – it sounded awesome – but I was glad that Dani moved forward instead of Clarissa.


So, I’m not going to lie: this performance broke my heart. I was rooting for Dawn and Hawkes from the beginning and it was sad to see them go. Damn you, Adam Levine! I’m not a huge fan of big belter Kat Perkins, but she did a good job here…I still would’ve picked Dawn and Hawkes to go forward, though. Boo.


I swear, if they eliminated just scenes of Blake pointing to himself, we could have cut one full night of battles. Thankfully, we are now moving on to the “playoffs,” whatever that means. So, what did you think of the final battle performances? Do you think Madilyn Paige was a good steal for Team Blake? Are you even still watching? Let me know which team is your favorite.



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