You don’t have to look at my blog too long before you figure out that I’m a bit of a Bravo TV addict. The weird thing is, I don’t follow most of the network’s shows, especially the newer programming. Vanderpump Rules is the obvious exception because, obviously. STASSI FOREVER. Ahem. Anyway, my point is that I am a loyal, if not fully attentive, Bravo fan but it’s always exciting when they offer their new lineup of shows. If you’re like me, you’re still looking for that Gallery Girls second season that will never come (SIGH). But I guess there are some interesting shows in development. I do wish they’d concentrate more on new programming and less on spin-offs, but oh well. Can’t win ’em all. Let’s take a look at Bravo’s new and returning shows.
Top Chef Duels
Official description: The 18 most memorable contestants from previous Top Chef seasons return to the kitchen to compete with each other one-on-one as celebrity chef Curtis Stone hosts.
My take: I’m pretty sick of the old Top Chef contestants, personally. They’re really gonna have to bring something new to the table, no pun intended.
Best New Restaurant
Official description: Tom Colicchio and company pick sixteen of the country’s best new restaurants to battle, leaving one with a cash prize and the title of “Best New Restaurant.”
My take: The chaos and intensity of Restaurant Wars, every night. Nice.
Official description: A group of young New Yorkers try to find love in the city in this docu-drama, with each week’s episode being shot and airing in the same week to allow viewers to participate in the action in real-time via social media.
My take: Hate the social media spin because real-time on-screen tweets give me a headache. Might be entertaining, though.
Friends to Lovers?
Official description: Think Friends with Benefits (or, equally applicable, No Strings Attached) but a reality show: Platonic friends try dating to see what happens to their relationships.
My take: What a HORRID idea. I love it.
Manzo’d with Children
Official description: Real Housewife of New Jersey Caroline Manzo shows the world her less-than-typical Italian family.
My take: You literally could not pay me to watch this show. Like if you were like, “Shelly, here is a fistful of cash. You can have it, if you watch this show about Caroline Manzo and her zany Italian family,” I would immediately say no. Bonus hatred for the horrible title.
Euros of Hollywood
Official description: Six Europeans hailing from places from Albania to Italy seek to take on America when they move to Los Angeles to find out how close to the top they can get.
My take: Real Housewives goes global.
Ladies of London
Official description: This docu-series will follow the lives of a group of prim-and-proper British socialites and their day-to-day dramas.
My take: Could be great, could be terrible. At least it will have accents.
Game of Crowns
Official description: Six mothers and wives compete in a “Mrs.” pageant and juggle finding the right bikini and raising their kids right.
My take: NOPE.
Million Dollar Listing Miami
Official description: Three luxury real estate agents fight for the biggest listings and for the most prestige in the up-and-coming real estate market of South Florida.
My take: As a resident of South Florida for more than 20 years, this is undoubtedly going to be boring and/or annoying for me, but I guess it’s a good city to move the franchise to, if we must.
Official description: Jamie Primak Sullivan was a Hollywood publicist — until she moved to a suburb in Alabama and married her town’s hottest bachelor. The docu-series will follow her new life in the south as we watch her balance her city girl roots with her southern home.
My take: This is one of those things where it will only work if you think she’s charming. The announcement on her blog gives a bit more color…we’ll have to wait and see.
Untying the Knot
Official description: “Divorce Diva” Vikki Ziegler helps couples divide their assets when they’re going through divorces, and in this show we’ll get to see how Ziegler deals with one of the messier parts of divorce.
My take: This sounds awful. Really, really awful.
Extreme Guide to Parenting
Official description: The proper way to parent is a hotly debated topic, and this docu-series will tackle it head-on as it gives us a look at two sets of parents who have very different ways of raising their kids.
My take: Probably no.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Kandi’s Wedding
Official description: Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker are getting married, and this series will document their planning process — including how they’re going to pull of a Coming to America-themed ceremony.
My take: I was literally thinking the other day how impressed I was by Kandi’s getting married without cameras and without letting Bravo foot the bill, so I guess that nice thought is out the window. Undoubtedly, this show will just be more Mama Joyce drama. Pass.
Bravo also has some unscripted projects in development:
Going Going Gone
Official description: Viewers can call in to bid on unique items, ranging from a dress modeled by Naomi Campbell to one of Wolfgang Puck’s old knives, in a live televised estate sale.
My take: This idea should be scrapped, immediately.
Official description: In this luxury travel docu-series, a group of wealthy travelers get together to wander the globe and visit the world’s most scenic sights.
My take: Can just say, I love how often they use the term docu-series? No one is buying it, Bravo. But this sounds kind of dull.
Official description: Can women have it all? That’s the question this reality series asks as it follows six successful women navigating the balance between their careers in fashion and beauty industries and their personal lives.
My take: As long as Ramona Singer isn’t one of the women, I will give it a shot.
Bravo has also renewed a bunch of shows for another season:
Below Deck (meh)
Don’t Be Tardy (sure)
Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles (okay)
The Real Housewives of New Jersey (pls recast asap, kthx)
Top Chef (okay)
The Millionaire Matchmaker (ugh)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta (obviously)
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (double obviously)
Shahs of Sunset (fire Lilly, thanks)
Vanderpump Rules (secretly overjoyed)
Fashion Queens (nice)
Newlyweds (I have no idea what this show is?)
Thicker Than Water (or this?)
Blood, Sweat, & Heels (is this the one I always confuse with RHOA?)
What do you think of the new Bravo shows? Will you watch any of them? What are you most excited about? Talk to me in the comments!