On this week’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York City, the biggest set of fireworks came from the Fourth of July itself. Ever since the big blow up at Aviva’s housewarming party and LuAnn’s Hampton’s Beach BBQ from hell, the women seem rather subdued, resorting to sniping rather than full-scale attacks. Even actual lunatic and human she-Hulk Aviva is holding back for the time being, choosing to whisper profanities at her pals during craft store play dates instead of screaming. Um, not that telling your friend to “shut the f*ck up” in front of small children is well-behaved…but hey, whatever. Side note: remember when Brandi Glanville told Adrienne Maloof to shut the f*ck up on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and it was a major topic of conversation for like, at least three or four episodes? This is why I prefer New Yorkers to the prisses in Beverly Hills. Even when around kids, no one pretends like they don’t swear.
Another side note: has anyone noticed that things have been much calmer now that Salamander Flanders isn’t around? I wonder what happened to her? Oh wait, no I don’t.
But I digress. Back to Carole, Aviva and BookGate, the fight keeps on giving. At Kristen’s Elvis-inspired Fourth of July clambake, the Housewives forced the two adversaries together again in an attempt to “clear the air” or “set things straight” or “mend the fences” or something else trite and ineffective. Why can’t people just not be friends? Okay, yes, I know that this is a reality television show and the entire thing is based upon the women and their relationships, but I mean…really. Some people just don’t have to be friends. I don’t see the point – and further, I think that Carole felt the same way. She’s been pretty wretched lately, but I think that’s because she’s continuously shoved in Aviva’s face, forced to deal with her over and over. How else is she supposed to react? But there we were, joining the two women on a blanket, set to drunkenly talk it out yet again.
The conversation went something like this:
Carole: So, I still don’t know what I did to make you attack me in the first place. Can we get some clarity on that?
Aviva: No, not really.
Carole: You’re really the worst, you know that?
Aviva: I THINK YOU ARE GREAT.
Aviva: I READ YOUR BOOK. YOU ARE GREAT.
Carole: Are you deranged? You found an advance copy of my book and read it?
Aviva: YES. IS THAT CRAZY? WHAT THAT IS NOT CRAZY. I AM SANE. LOOK, I HAVE YOUR BOOK.
Carole: Are you going to kill me now?
Aviva: YOU ARE A GOOD WRITER.I THINK YOUR BOOK IS SUPER. I LOVE YOU, CAROLE.
Carole: I’m not drunk enough for this sh*t.
And thus, BookGate ended. Rejoice!