Hello and welcome to your semi-live blog of The Voice eliminations. The top 10 contestants will be whittled down to eight. I’ve predicted the bottom three to be Bria, Tess and Audra, with Tess and Bria heading home. Of course, I could be wrong. One member of the bottom three will be saved by Twitter, but we aren’t ready for any of that yet. First, Carson Daly has a Very Special Announcement. I thought this was going to be a plea to stop calling Adam Levine’s cell phone, but instead he officially announced that Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams will be joining The Voice as coaches next season. Wait, does that mean that Christina isn’t coming back? Hmmm. Both Gwen and Pharrell will be performing on next week’s show, which means that I will be fast forwarding through a performance of “Happy.” Sounds good!
We kick off the show with a song from Team Usher. It’s such a bummer to me how good Bria Kelly is because she is really very, very good. But man did she suck last night. I don’t think she has a prayer. Usher is fabulous, even though he’s wearing sunglasses indoors. I will forgive him because he is Usher. After that song, Carson wastes no time with the first results of the night. From Team Adam, Christina Grimmie is moving on. Also safe is Team Blake’s Sisaundra Lewis. What Carson actually says is, “Sisaundra Lewis lives to see another day,” which I didn’t realize was something that could be in jeopardy, but I guess sh*t is getting real this season on The Voice. The firing squad sets down their rifles in disappointment.
I’m kind of thinking that Shakira is having a bad week, you guys. She seemed really out of it last night and she is not looking too hot right now. Of course, “not too hot” for Shakira is still about 200 times hotter than the average person, so it’s not like she should be worried. But I’m just saying. The judges blather on for a bit and Shakira talks about how sad she is that a member of her team went home last week. Luckily, Carson announces the next saved contestant and it’s Kristen Merlin! One from Team Shakira is officially safe. Also in for another week: Team Usher’s Josh Kaufman. Even though he sang that horrible, garbage Kenny Loggins song, he made it through. Phew.
After a break, Team Shakira sings a song that I do not know and it is snappy and fun. Tess and Shakira are total twinsies tonight. I wonder if they planned it and I wonder if Kristen is sad that she wasn’t included in the sparkly top/black pants plan. Oh hey, it’s a Shakira song. I guess I should’ve figured that out.
I have a confession: I love the stupid Voice confessionals. I know they are dorky and silly and scripted, but I don’t care. They are adorable! You let me have this! On tonight’s edition, we find out that Bria Kelly loves cheese, Usher cooks in his underwear and Jake Worthington can wriggle his ears. He really can, too! It’s kind of amazing. Also, Sisaundra puts on a mullet wig because mullets. Once that’s over, Carson announces the next two contestants who are safe: Audra McLaughlin and Delvin Choice! Well, I guess I was wrong about Audra being in the bottom three, huh?
I am just going to put it out there: I am still not completely sold on the idea of a Rosemary’s Baby remake. True story about Rosemary’s Baby: one of my friends showed it at her baby shower. Shout out!
After a bit of coaching from Carson on how to properly use Twitter, we get a “behind the scenes” segment from the contestants. It’s kind of cute but then it gets inexplicably sad. Jake is crying. Kristen’s dad never said he loved her. Jake is crying again. Why is this so sad? You are on The Voice! Sheesh. Well, anyway, that happened. Now someone else is safe. It’s Jake Worthington, the ear wriggler! That means Bria, Tess and Kat are in the bottom three. WAIT, WHAT. KAT!? America, you crazy.
First up to sing for the save is Bria Kelly. She sings Heart’s “Crazy On You” and it’s way better than last night, but I don’t think it will be enough to save her. Next is Tess, who sing’s Pink’s “Who Knew,” because we haven’t filled the week’s Pink quota yet. She’s off key at first, but then it gets better. Shakira gives a very heartfelt plea for her. And then…AND THEN, Kat Perkins blows the roof off this mother. I mean, are you KIDDING me? How on earth is she in the bottom. She sings Grace Potter & The Nocturnals’ “Paris (Ooh La La)” and okay, you get the point. It was good.
Like honestly, I think Tess and Bria are backstage tweeting votes for Kat. I don’t know. If she doesn’t go through, it’s just because people don’t like her. Which, alright, she’s not the most personable, but man. So now, it’s time to vote. During the break, we see how the tweets are going. I think it’s kind of interesting how they do this. If you don’t like what’s happening, you can react, but it kind of kills the suspense, you know? Anyway, Kat is blowing them away. It’s no surprise when she’s the one America saves. Damn right.
What do you think – did the right people go home? My predictions were right for the second week in a row, so I’m feeling pretty good. Team Blake and Team Adam still have all their contestants – Usher and Shakira only have one left. Interesting… See you next week!
EDITED: Adding Kat’s “Paris (Ooh La La)” performance here because it was that good.