Well, guys, we made it. It’s The Voice finale and your top three contestants are singing their little heads off for your votes. It was a good show! I even liked a song by Jake, which has literally never happened. But hey, it’s the finale – if it was going to happen, now’s the time. The final three – Jake Worthington, Josh Kaufman and Christina Grimmie – are three very different contestants. We have pure country, R&B/soul and pop. I would say they’re equally matched in skill, so it’s going to come down to fan base. Okay, let’s be real: Jake is going to win. Jake is going to murder the other two. There is literally no stopping Jake Worthington. Did you see Godzilla this past weekend? That is what Jake’s votes are going to look like, stomping all over Christina and Josh. He will destroy them. But I guess we can talk about the show anyway, right?
I wasn’t sure going into the finale who I wanted to win, but if I had to pick a favorite, it would be Christina. I don’t particularly feel anything for her, but she’s most likely to make an album that I would listen to. I don’t know if she’s the best, but she’s closest to my taste. That being said, Christina is very young and I mentioned on Twitter last night that she needs to work on her interviewing skills. She has zero poise, zero wit, zero personality beyond squealing a lot. Someone needs to sit her down and start coaching her on that, you know? Please stop squealing, Christina Grimmie.
Anyway, she started off the show with the viewer’s choice: her blind audition song, “Wrecking Ball.” It was really wonderful, but it didn’t have the same power as her original version. Maybe that’s because I knew what to expect this time? I don’t know – perhaps I am being unfair. Am I being unfair? Let me know! After that, Christina sang with her coach and I must say, I really enjoyed it. Her voice and Adam’s go very well together and Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know” was a perfect song choice. Plus, it’s been a while since this song had aggressive radio play and I finally don’t want to scratch my eyeballs out every time I hear it.
Her final performance was surprising to me: Elvis Presley’s “(I Can’t Help) Falling In Love With You.” I didn’t think she’d chose a classic over a trendy pop song, but I’m glad she did. It’s nice to see that she can display the same kind of range and strength to a song with true passion. I liked everything about this. The arrangement was soft when it should be soft and belty when it should be belty. I don’t think she will win (see above, re: Jakezilla) but I hope this get’s her a nice record deal.
Interjection: The coaches did duets! Did you know that Shakira and Blake have recently released a song together? It is called “Medicine” and wow, it is not good. How come Blake Shelton keeps recording horrible duets with the female pop vocalist coaches? They do not work! Ugh. Shakira looked smoking hot, though, so that’s something. After that disaster, it was nice to hear Usher and Adam Levine team up on D’angelo’s “Untitled (How Does It Feel)”. Guys, it was good. They do this crazy high note thing toward the end? It’s like a crazy soprano battle! Who won? It’s a tie! They both sing like canaries!
I must start with my usual Josh disclaimer: he is not my thing. But as I’ve already stated, he is going to be the next winner of The Voice, so I suppose I should give him some love. I will admit: he is darling. Just completely charming and sweet. Even if I don’t love his music, he’s clearly a nice guy, and I’m glad this is happening to a nice guy. I just wish Blake wasn’t going to win again – we’re going to have to see him do that dumb finger pointing thing forever, aren’t we? Ugh. But right, Jake. He started off the night with his blind audition song, “Don’t Close Your Eyes.” I did not listen to it, but I’m sure it was what it was. After that, he sang a song I liked! I know, right? It was just as surprising to me. He did a cover of Richard Marx’s “Right Here Waiting” and it was so good, you guys!
After that, he sang a duet with Blake. It was Hank Williams, Jr.’s “A Country Boy Can Survive” and I didn’t listen to it and I don’t even care. He’s going to win, okay?
Of the three finalists, I would say Josh was the least impressive last night. He’s very talented, but his performances didn’t have the same oomph as Christina’s, and he doesn’t have the same consistency as Jake. Jake is never not solid; Josh is often sharp or shaky. But hey, maybe I’m being unfair again. I can’t even tell anymore. Oh well. Josh started off the night with America’s choice, which was actually not his blind audition song. It was “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours,” which was the song he sang in the battles against Delvin Choice. This was also when he was booted from Team Adam and became part of Team Usher. It was a good performance, but I cannot even deal with how over Stevie Wonder covers I am, so let’s move on. Josh’s next performance was a song with Usher and the smoke monster from Lost. Seriously, though, Usher cracks me up, you guys. He barely let Josh sing at all! They did the Police classic, “Every Breath You Take,” and Usher was like, “Yo Josh, I’mma let you finish, but first I’m going to sing this entire thing without you, okay?” Oh, Usher.
Josh’s final performance was where I believe he faltered. Now, the audience went effing wild and so did the coaches, so maybe I am way off here. But I just did not like his cover of Adele’s “Set Fire To The Rain.” First of all, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: don’t try to sing Adele. You just cannot. Second of all, he was all over the place, sharp as hell at some points and flat on others. I dunno, man. What am I missing? Am I crazy? I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MUSIC ANYMORE.
So, what did you think? What were your top and bottom performances? Was “Medicine” as bad as I think it was? Will Adam and Usher go on the road, shattering glass together? Who will win The Voice?!?
My prediction: JAKE, aren’t you paying attention?