Dear Bravo TV, producers of The Real Housewives of New York City, Aviva Drescher and any other parties involved,
I have something very important to tell you: No one likes George Teichner.
George Teichner is not funny. He is, at his most innocent, a lecherous old man who makes off-color jokes at dinner parties. He is, at his worst, a lecherous old man who thinks it’s hilarious to inappropriately grab, grope, poke, and even threaten women in his company. He has, to the best of my knowledge, touched just about every cast member (save his daughter Aviva, thank goodness for small favors) in a sexual way. This content – a breast grab, a butt squeeze, a poke in the behind with his Viagra-fueled erection – is presented on your show as the hilarious hi-jinks of an eccentric old man. The women squeal and run away, swat at his hand with an uncomfortable laugh. He grins that huge grin, glowing with years of relentless teeth whitening treatments from an encasement of orange plastic skin. He laughs. Aviva says, “Dad, stop!” and we all have a good chuckle. Isn’t it funny how, after being turned down by Sonja last year in Florida, he followed her around all night and made sure she felt his erection? He wanted her to know “what she was missing,” see? Isn’t it amusing how, within minutes of meeting Kristen at his own engagement party, he put his hand on her breast and says, “Come over her, I’ll lick your nipples!” Oh man, that George. He sure is a card!
The thing is, it’s actually kind of sexual harassment, though? Borderline assault, in some cases? Haha. Assault. So funny! I mean, if these women are paid to be on the show, it’s like a job to them. They are working, being put in a situation (thanks to, I assume, Aviva’s desperation for a relevant plot line and the producers’ desire to get people talking) where they have a 76-year-old man constantly touching them and making lewd, sexual advances. I don’t know about you, but there’s an issue somewhere in there, right? I mean, there has to be?
I know the answer to that is oh, he’s harmless. He’s just a creepy old man. But the thing about George Teichner is, that’s only the case until you piss him off. Once he’s mad or doesn’t like someone, he does this thing where he aggressively propositions them, to the point that he uses sexual behavior as a threat? Ramona is a perfect example of this. Yes, Ramona is almost 100% garbage. But she’s still a human and still a woman and no human woman deserves to have sexual violence used against them, even on a dumb show like the Real Housewives of New York City. Even when she’s an idiot like Ramona Singer. Last year, George crashed her event – honoring victims of domestic violence – and then became very aggressive toward her. He grabbed her arm and called her names and did I mention, it was an event to honor victims of domestic violence? Okay, yeah.
There is obviously no love lost between the two – and Ramona doesn’t help the situation. She’s awful to George’s fiance because she’s Ramona and she is awful. George takes it up a notch by calling her a b*tch. “You know what happens to b*tches? They get f*cked by dogs!” he yells. Yeesh. Later, when Ramona attempts to apologize, she and George get into another fight. Naturally, Ramona goes totally off the wall, insulting the hell out of him and his fiance. Because she is Ramona, this is what she does. But when she questions his ability to have children, he says to her, “Let’s try it. You determine how do you want to do it, on your knees or on your back.” Ummmmmmm no. But there’s more! “Do you know what I’m going to do at your funeral? I’m gonna lick my lips and put my hand on your vagina,” he tells her, holding his fingers up to show her what he means. It’s disgusting. It’s rude. It’s sexually threatening. I mean he’s like hey, I’m going to wait until you have no control over your body and then assault it! WHO SAYS THAT?!
Look, I don’t want to overreact. I’m not making any accusations against George Teichner beyond the things I’ve seen him say and do on the show. But I know that as a woman and a loyal viewer, I find him incredibly offensive. I don’t think he’s funny. I don’t think he’s a good addition to the show. Aviva Drescher is a hard enough sell without adding George as a package deal. Bravo, producers, people in charge: it’s time to cut those ties. Get rid of him. It’s not enjoyable to watch women uncomfortably shake off the advances of an old man. Hearing someone’s father threaten sexual violence against a woman isn’t fun TV. Listening to a 76-year-old discuss how much he likes sex toys, or how he waxes his scrotum? It’s not cute. It’s nauseating. Let’s send George back to Florida and leave him there, okay?