Ladies Of London Recap: Tabloid Headlines And Gala Tickets For Everyone! (Almost)

 

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

It’s only the second episode of Bravo’s new series Ladies Of London and I’m already hooked. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I posted a handy guide of who’s who. I recommend this show to anyone who needs to satisfy their Brit fix – especially now that Fox has pulled the plug on the other summer British reality  series,  I Wanna Marry “Harry.”  This week on Ladies Of London, we get to know the women a little better and learn more about their relationships and families as well.  Some are definitely more interesting than others, but I find them all enjoyable for the most part, in their own way. Let’s see what they were up to in episode two:

Caroline

My favorite of the bunch so far is Caroline Stanbury. Caroline has the most enviable life, I swear to God. Her house is totally amazeballs (and immaculate!), her kids are adorable and her biggest daily hardships seem to be things like, “I’ll have to squeeze in a full-service pedicure while I’m at the office” or “Will I have enough time to finish with my professional makeup artist before I leave for pre-gala drinks?” Tough life indeed. As her husband teases her, “My diamond shoes are too tight.”  While the other ladies scramble their way through scandals, Caroline is having an easy, breezy time. This chick is the real deal, too. She may be considered “new money” in England, but she’s not showy about it (considering her options, anyway) nor is she one of those needy, whiny rich women for whom nothing is good enough (see: Noelle).  Caroline also runs a wildly successful business, or so she says. Her luxury gift line has many high-end clients, none of which she cares to publicize.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Caroline’s week, as for most of the women, revolves around preparing for the Serpentine Party, one of the biggest social events of the year for the London scene. Tickets, it seems, are very hard to come by if you’re not somebody, but Caroline definitely doesn’t have that problem. Between waltzing around in a show-stopping Cavalli gown and getting an intimate performance from Elton John at a friend’s birthday party, she even tosses a spare ticket to social climber Noelle. No biggie!

Noelle

Oh, Noelle Reno. I don’t know what to make of you. Do I love her? No, not really. She’s kind of a snot. But then again, I totally understand where she is coming from – she’s fallen in love with a man who is having a very, very rough time, both socially and financially. While her star should be climbing, Scot Porter’s divorce scandal (and supposedly empty bank account) are harshing her buzz. They can’t get into anything, let alone the Serpentine Party. Those in charge of the event say it’s “at capacity” which I guess means, “We’re not making an exception for you, you jail-hopping disgrace.” I’m just saying that if Pippa Middleton needed a last minute ticket, they’d probably squeeze her in, fire safety be damned. Let some lowly cocktail waiter burn, this is for Pippa! But anyway, back to Noelle. She really (really, really) wants to go to the Serpentine Party, but Scot just cannot make it happen. She’s a total b*tch about it, basically. She’s also pretty nasty about buying a house. She and Scot have decided to move in together, but luxury just isn’t in his price range right now. Call me crazy, but should he be buying any property when he’s under investigation for hiding funds? I’m just saying.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Noelle and Scot begin house hunting and it’s not going so well. The first place they see is too small, too run-down, too normal. In actuality, it’s not amazing or anything but it’s perfectly suitable. They could replace some cabinets and renovate the terrace and it would be amazing. But Noelle is not having it. This is not up to her standards. Plus, did I mention how he couldn’t get her tickets to the Serpentine Party? WHAT A WASTE. She keeps saying she’s not a gold digger and I want to believe her, but she seems pretty focused on the perks that Scot can no longer provide. Luckily for her, Caroline has that extra Serpentine ticket. Noelle is like, “Smell you later, Scot!” and leaves with the ladies. Priorities!

Annabelle

You guys, Annabelle is super boring so far. I want to like her because she’s very glamorous, but oh my God. She doesn’t do much at all, unless you count looking fabulous in an Alexander McQueen dress. Oh, and she’s a little judgey about everyone. Actually, that’s all we’ve seen from Annabelle: she’s judgmental and wears a lot of McQueen. Okay then!

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Marissa

Another one who is still kind of boring is Marissa Hermer. She just hasn’t shown us much of herself yet. This week, like everyone else, she’s getting ready for the Serpentine Party. Hey guys, did you know about the Serpentine Party? Sheesh. So yes, party, blah blah. Her husband and club owner Matt Hermer is actually working the event this year, though they’ve been in attendance for a few years. This means that Marissa will be walking the red carpet alone for the first time. Rough days. Before the event, she meets up with American buddy Juliet and they discuss how much fun they had at Polo in the Park – much more fun than those stuffy Brits! At least they acknowledge that they were behaving “like Americans” – but they don’t seem to mind. British women are, in their opinion, not very good at having a good time.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Leading up to the gala, Marissa gathers everyone for some pre-party drinks and appetizers. Scot and Noelle have been trying not-so-subtly to use Marissa’s connections to nab them some tickets, but to Marissa’s credit, she doesn’t really play along. Good for her – know when you’re being used, sister! “If they’re at capacity, they’re at capacity,” she says with a faux-apologetic smile. Must be awkward to be much more “important” than your friends, huh?

Juliet

Juliet “I am who I am” Angus is sort of textbook reality show character right now. She’s brash, she’s outspoken and she’s unapologetic. But it seems kind of phony, more like a persona than an actual personality. That being said, I do enjoy her free spirit attitude. It’s very American, indeed. Too bad it looks like it will soon turn from enjoyable to unbearable. Oh well!

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Juliet is a fashion PR maven (not unlike ANTM’s Kelly Cutrone, another annoying American disaster) who will be dressing some of the biggest who’s whos of the Serpentine Party. That would be pretty cool if her clients weren’t all confidential.  It’s totally lame but she cannot reveal any of her clients’ identities or say who they’re wearing. Um, that’s the only fun part of being in fashion PR, Juliet. Take a page from Rachel Zoe and blab all over town, thanks.

Caprice

Caprice has the biggest spotlight of the week, thanks to her two – yes, two – babies. Here’s the situation: Caprice and her boyfriend Ty had been trying to conceive for a while, but she was told that it wouldn’t happen for her. Because of this, they sought out a surrogate in America (one, to avoid the aggressive UK press and two, because surrogates in America do not have rights to the baby, while British surrogates do). Then, a couple months into the surrogacy, boom! Caprice gets preggars! Now she is carrying one and having another via the surrogate, all within two months of each other. Yikes!

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Caprice sees Baby #1 via Skype with her mother and boyfriend, which is lovely to watch. Then she delivers – haha, see what I did there? – the news to the British press. She’s going on seven months and soon she’ll have the baby from the surrogate as well – it’s time to let the UK in on her secret. Instead of letting the press find out on their own and run with the scandal, Caprice chooses to orchestrate the story herself. She gives interviews and makes the front page of The Sun and The Daily Mail. Caroline finds it a little distasteful, but I totally understand where Caprice is coming from. God knows what they would have printed otherwise? She’d be having Prince William’s love child or something! Better to be a tabloid headline on your own terms than not, right?

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Next week: More Serpentine Gala, a Fourth of July party (umm…they know what that holiday is about, right?) and Juliet wears hoochie shorts. Fun!

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