You’d think that the girls of Pretty Little Liars would have learned by now. When you tell a lie, that lie will inevitably grow bigger. As the lie grows, the paranoia sets in and you begin to look over your shoulder at every turn. Inevitably, your lies will come and bite you in the ass and something terrible will happen. Oh, and if you adopt a misbehaving collie, he might just dig up the dead body in your front yard. Oops.
This week’s Pretty Little Liars dealt with two major character transitions: Alison DiLaurentis’s return to Rosewood and her mother’s mysterious disappearance. By the episode’s end, Alison is fairly settled back in her childhood home and her mother’s body has been discovered. It could be the turning point for the girls – that is, if they didn’t just dig themselves a new grave in the form of the biggest lie yet. Let’s talk about this week’s episode. Spoilers ahead.
The Big Lie
In a crazy twist of events, Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Emily all agree that Alison should go to the police and tell the truth. I know, that never happens, right? They want Ali to confess to everything – the whole truth – starting from the night she went missing, or even earlier. It takes a bit of convincing, but Ali finally agrees that it’s the right thing to do. So, four missing suspects and a dead girl walk into the police station with the best of intentions. Unfortunately, you know, Alison ruins everything because, duh. Alison, am I right? Just as they sit down with Detective Holbrook and start to tell their story, Ali pulls the rug out from under them all. “I was kidnapped!” she blurts out.
Wah waaaaaah. Oh, Alison. You were so close. The other girls have no choice but to go along with it. The thing is, Alison’s story is pretty terrible. Her facts are all screwed up and her timeline makes no sense. I know that the Rosewood PD is one of the worst police departments in the history of television, but Detective Holbrook has to know she’s making this up, right?
Naturally, Spencer, Emily, Aria and Hanna are not thrilled with Alison’s new twist on the truth. Aria is especially spooked because, ya know, she just killed someone and left her dead and bleeding body on the floor of her boyfriend’s property. Kinda dumb. So of course, things quickly spiral out of control. It turns out that Ali flipped on them because she received a text while at the police station. “The truth will bury you in a New York minute,”it says, and it got Ali so freaked that she blurted out the lie. She did it to protect them, see? No dude, I don’t. You are literally telling the police that a fake kidnapper is still out there and you have a threatening text in your phone to prove that someone is actually after you. SHOW THE COPS. Put it all together. At least tell the cops you’re still in danger? No? Okay. Sigh.
Meanwhile, Jason is back and he’s creepier than ever. Within 24 hours of his sister’s return he carries out every form of Textbook Suspicious Behavior possible:
- He details his car in the middle of the night
- He stands in the doorway and watches his sister sleep
- He stalks around in a sock cap looking disheveled and crazed
- He visits a weird, abandoned building in the middle of the night
- He has to “go see someone” out of town and is all shady about it
- He gives everyone attitude and acts defensive over nothing
- He bangs on car windows and yells at people
Did I mention the sock cap? Sure sign of bad guy business.
If Jason isn’t enough to keep Ali on edge, her mom is missing and no one knows where she is. Is Jason hiding her? (Spoiler: NOPE, SHE DEAD). At the same time, Aria is dealing with some looming paranoia of her own: Shana’s violin music is haunting her. It’s playing outside her window and it takes over her iPod. Not cool. As a bonus to her crappy week, Ezra is still in the hospital and her brother is dating Mona again. Super!
Oh, and Mona? She’s batsh*t crazy again, but in an awesome way. She follows Alison to her grave (Alison honey, no) and gives her a nice, big threat. “You’re gonna wish you stayed dead,” she says and everyone watching is like dayum, because Mona is back, y’all. The best part? Mona sent the text.
The Sad Discovery
We all know that buried secrets have a way of coming out – and that’s literally the case for Mrs. DiLaurentis. Pepe, Alison’s weird plot-device adopted dog, likes to dig in the yard and he found himself an unexpected surprise – the body of Mrs. D. The last five minutes of the episode were pretty heartbreaking, to be honest. All the girls, Jason and poor Alison watch in shock as Mrs. DiLaurentis’s body is uncovered and carted away, bringing another horrible mystery to the forefront: who killed Alison’s mother?
What do you think – is Jason too obvious, or is he the real A? Who was Mrs. D. trying to protect and who murdered her? Why is Toby’s hair so terrible?
Next week: CALEB RETURNS AND HE’S LOOKIN GOOD