Before I talk about this week’s episode of Ladies Of London, we need to discuss accents. Obviously, when you live in another country, it’s natural to pick up the local dialect. In fact, I’m surprised that Caprice doesn’t have more of an English lilt, considering how long she’s lived across the pond. But I just cannot with Noelle. Noelle, no one is buying your accent. Your accent maybe the most phony baloney, over-affected thing on the show – even more so than Julet’s supposed fashion sense. Stop being Madonna in The Next Best Thing, because no one wants to be reminded of that. Okay, I’ve gotten that off my chest. Moving on.
Last week, I took some time off from blogging, so I didn’t get a chance to cover the post-July 4th episode of Ladies Of London. Tragedy! Let’s do a quick recap: after Juliet and Annabelle had their amazing fight (“Keep going!” “No, you keep going!”) everyone felt awkward. Caprice totally overreacted and was upset with Caroline for her lack of buttinsky-ness. Caroline was upset with Caprice for rejecting her baby shower. Everyone tried on hats, except for Annabelle, because she didn’t get invited to the hat party. Noelle and Scot were supposed to move, but probably didn’t, because Scot sucks. We all met the future Lady of Sandwich, wife to the future Earl of Sandwich, which is not a made up thing, but a real royal title.
Julie, AKA Lady Hinchingbrooke, AKA the future Lady of Sandwich
Julie Montagu is our newest Lady of London and I think I like her best of all. She is a former yoga instructor from Illinois who just happened to meet and fall in love with the future Earl of Sandwich, Luke Montagu. This is not only the most Joey Tribiani-esque title ever, but it’s a pretty swanky one as well – Sandwich, by the way, is a place in England, though the type of sandwich we know and love did get its name from there. The two were married at Mapperton House, a Tudor-era estate that makes me swoon all over the place. It’s got world famous gardens that people come from all over to visit. Julie, because she’s awesome and also wants to bring more tourism to Mapperton, invites all the ladies to the estate for a getaway. She’s a little concerned about Juliet’s behavior, because this is a proper royal house with proper royal manners and Juliet is far from proper. Things aren’t too disastrous, though. Overall, Julie seems like a lovely hostess who’s trying to make a good impression on her in-laws and friends. I like how she manages to stay “American” in the way she speaks and acts, but she’s still very polite and respectful. See, you can be both!
If anyone knows how to behave at Mapperton, it’s Caroline Stanbury, who grew up just down the street in Dorset. She’s very familiar with this type of atmosphere and she knows how to act accordingly – although telling Juliet that she looked like she was “taking a big poo” while she was skeet shooting seemed a little tacky. I mean, she said “poo” in front of the Earl. Is that proper? I doubt it. Caroline really spends most of her time at Mapperton doing what she does best – looking superior and giving everyone “loving” insults. Marissa? Looks like she’s going to a toga party. Noelle? Looks like Cruella de Vil. Juliet? Looks like a servant. The hits keep coming, but Caroline is the type of woman who gets away with stuff like that – probably because it’s easier to have her on your side than fight her. Whether or not she gives these playful jibes because she likes you, as Noelle insists, I’m not sure. But it’s definitely Caroline’s M.O. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from sneaking out after appetizers for a smoke – very rude! Caroline seems to be aligning herself more and more with the American girls, and they seem more than willing to do whatever she tells them.
Things between Caprice and Caroline are tense. Fortunately, they’re both too well-mannered to make a big deal out of it. For the most part, the two keep a quiet distance and the tension is only occasionally noticeable. However, that doesn’t stop Caprice from having a go at Caroline behind her back, every chance she gets. I’m not the only one who thinks Caroline is building herself an American fan club – Caprice resents her little cabal and wants no part of it. As she says, that whole group is based upon “blowing smoke up Caroline’s ass.” Caprice is much more interested in being friends with Annabelle and Julie – now, is that because they’re more aristocratic or does she just like them better? Not sure. Personally, I think Caprice would be a lot more likable if she wasn’t seven months pregnant. I mean, cut the girl some slack, right?
As usual, Marissa Hermer doesn’t get up to much this week. She goes to Mapperton, she wears pretty dresses and she does her hair in that horrible top-knot bun. Someone should really tell her to stop that. Also, she turns out to be the best amateur skeet shooter of the group. Well done, Marissa!
Surprise for everyone: Noelle and Scot didn’t move into their new place. Shocking! Except, not. Boy, Scot really is a disappointment. You can tell that Noelle isn’t over her anger – nor is she over her hangover as she heads to Mapperton House. She’s looking kind of rough, to be honest. Things just aren’t going her way. As she tours the Mapperton estate, you can practically see the drool falling from her lips. Envy radiates from her every pore. This was supposed to be her life. Scot was supposed to be her prince charming. But Noelle didn’t get the fairy tale. She did, however, get the venison – and lots of it. Her table manners are pretty appalling – and it doesn’t help when she wanders into the kitchen and asks the servants for vodka.
I will say this about Annabelle: she knows when to keep her mouth shut. Despite the obvious tension, she doesn’t act out against Juliet once during her trip to Mapperton. Maybe that’s because she’s been a regular guest of the Montagu family for more than 20 years. She’s an old friend of Luke’s and the Lady Sandwich treats her like family. Annabelle is also the only one Julie invites to stay over at the estate – she even has her own room! Annabelle spends most of the trip being silently amused by everyone’s ridiculous, catty behavior and showing off how well she can shoot a clay pigeon. When she’s cornered by Juliet – to clear the air on their argument – she takes it pretty well. Even when Juliet kind of blames her for the whole thing. I’m still not an Annabelle fan, but she wasn’t so bad this week. You know, for a gigantic snob.
Here are some things Juliet does at Mapperton House: immediately asks for the bathroom upon meeting the Earl; tries to pick a flower in the perfectly manicured, world famous gardens; sneaks out of dinner for a smoke; loudly refuses to eat the venison, which she calls “Bambi;” pulls Annabelle away from the table without asking to be excused for a Real Housewives-style confrontation. Oh, and let’s not forget her riveting dinner conversation, like when she asks Lady Sandwich if she’s seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Other than that, Juliet does just fine in Dorset. Just fine, indeed.
Next week, Caprice solidifies herself as firmly anti-Caroline by leaving the trip without saying goodbye and Marissa yells at Juliet. Wait, Marissa will have a plot? Jolly good!