Ah, Montana. Home of cowboys and horses and Sonja Morgan’s Beaver cabin. It seems only natural that the Real Housewives of New York City would end their Montana adventure by literally throwing hatchets around. I guess it’s better than wine glasses, right? But the party at the dude ranch wasn’t all fun and games – it wouldn’t be a Real Housewives vacay without some fighting, some tears and some binge drinking – and this one had it all.
Perhaps no one had a worse time than the hostess herself, Kristen Taekman. Despite working hard to plan a vacation full of fun activities, her friends were less than impressed. Ramona and Sonja were – per usual – complaining from the get-go, but by the end of the trip, no one really seemed happy with the accommodations. Only LuAnn, whose good attitude has been a delight all season, seemed to enjoy herself. Is LuAnn on a cocktail of happy pills this season, or what? I mean, the Countess used a porta-potty and smiled. No one in their right mind does that, least of all Ms. Manners herself, unless she’s high as a kite. I would like whatever she’s having, please.
But I digress. The RHONY gang was pretty hard on Kristen and things didn’t get any easier when she started fighting with Heather – her closest friend and ally. From what I’ve seen, people are pretty divided between two camps: Kristen is either a victim, picked on and picked apart by a group of louder, stronger and more dominant women – or Kristen is an immature baby cry-face who needs to grow up and grow a pair. Let’s explore these two sides in some point/counterpoint!
Point: As hostess, Kristen should know to have food and drinks ready for everyone, because people get hungry and want booze. She should also know when to call it quits on an activity that no one is enjoying (i.e. “geo-caching”) and not take it personally if someone doesn’t feel like participating. This isn’t your eighth birthday party, it’s a vacation.
Counterpoint: Kristen tries to provide what she considers to be a nice spread for her guests at the ranch. Ramona and Sonja have unreasonable expectations – butlers and servants, personal chefs, cocktails at the ready, 24/7 luxury – and call Kristen a “bad hostess” when she doesn’t cater to their every whim. It’s the responsibility of the guest to be gracious.
Point: Kristen has a very hard time rappelling. It’s difficult for her to face her fears and her friends should be sensitive to that. It must be rough for her to be friends with Heather, who is so naturally inclined to physical activity, when Kristen herself clearly struggles with it – especially because it’s also something important to her husband, Josh. And yes, Josh is a d*ck about it. Kristen probably feels very inadequate. As her close friend, Heather should understand this and be a little more forgiving.
Counterpoint: It must be seriously exhausting to be friends with someone who is so emotionally crippled by the weight of her own insecurities, that she cries over literally every difficult moment that comes her way. Even when she succeeds, she cries, because she will never succeed enough to be happy with herself. These are problems for a therapist – or perhaps a marriage counselor – and not Heather, who just happens to be athletic. It is not Heather’s fault that Kristen has these insecurities.
Point: Even though it isn’t something she wants to do, Heather should suck it up and participate in the geo-caching activity, especially since Kristen’s had a hard day. Part of taking a vacation with friends is compromising and not always doing what you want to do. Heather’s behavior is embarrassing – she’s obviously drunk as hell and it makes her act mean. There’s no reason to be quite so mocking about it.
Counterpoint: Geo-caching is f*cking stupid.
Point: Kristen may be having a rough time, but everything she says to Heather is out of line. Telling her she’s bossy because she “knows that makes [her] mad” is immature and kind of cruel. If it’s something Heather is sensitive about, Kristen shouldn’t bring it up, just because she’s having a bad day. Kristen is also totally wrong for bringing up Heather’s marriage – totally inappropriate.
Counterpoint: For real though, Heather is super bossy, right?
Point: Kristen is reacting to the lack of control she has in her personal life. Like, for instance, how her husband is a domineering piece of sh*t who bosses her around and insults her as much as possible. If Kristen’s feeling put down and bossed around by her friends, it’s natural for her to overreact a little. That’s what BFFs do – they take out their issues on their friends and then cry about it and then everyone makes up and it’s all good. Right?
Counterpoint: How is anyone supposed to take Kristen seriously, though, when she’s wearing a huge fur coat and a kerchief? I mean, come on.
Point: Heather is wrong to demand an apology without offering one herself. Even though Kristen says inappropriate things, Heather started it by acting rude and cruel during their geo-caching trip. She should admit that maybe she had one too many at lunch and it made her act like a jack ass. At the very least, she should apologize for making Kristen cry.
Counterpoint: By admitting that she’s bossy, though, what does that prove? Why is Kristen so insistent on Heather “owning it” when it means nothing? This seems less about Heather’s behavior and more about Kristen’s need for validation. And speaking of needy, what grown woman locks herself in the bathroom and cries over this? Kristen needs to act like an adult.
What do you think – are you Team Kristen, or are you Team Everyone Else? Was Heather justified in demanding an apology, or was she being kind of bossy and mean? Do you want to find out what medications LuAnn is taking as much as I do? Are you jealous of Carole’s bear suit? Would you literally ever even go to Montana? Let me know what you think!