I’ve already spent some time this week discussing the whole Eric Hill situation on The Bachelorette, but other stuff happened this week as well. Namely: hometowns! With only four guys left to choose from, Andi headed to each of the bachelor’s hometowns to see where they come from and meet their families. This is always the weirdest part of the show, in my opinion, because everyone comes off as a lunatic or a jerk. If you’re super enthusiastic about your child marrying a total stranger from a TV show, you look like a bad parent. If you’re unsupportive and skeptical, you look like a bad parent. You can’t really win with hometown dates. I don’t know why anyone agrees to them. But hey, Andi seemed to enjoy them, for the most part. Let’s see how they went!
Nick’s hometown date
The best thing about Nick’s hometown visit is that no other guys are there. It allows Nick to stop acting like a petulant, competitive jerk and act more like a decent guy. I think he and Andi have the best genuine chemistry. Their date is cute enough, I guess, but the real cuteness comes when Andi met Nick’s eleven (eleven!) brothers and sisters. His youngest sibling, Bella, has a whole list of questions for Andi. I’m sure the producers made her do that, but whatever. She is adorable, even though she will probably look back on this in a few years with seething rage. By the end of the date, Nick decides not to tell Andi that he loves her – he’s only said he’s “falling” in love, which as we all know is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. He figures she already knows. Clearly, Nick has not read the rules of The Bachelorette.
Chris’s hometown date
You know what’s in Arlington, Iowa? Chris’s house and a farm. That’s like, it. It’s beautiful, but in that way where it’s beautiful on TV or in a picture, but not in the desolate wasteland you see out your bedroom window every day for the rest of your life. Andi’s biggest concern with Chris, of course, is WTF she would do in Iowa. Chris is like, “Well, there’s an opportunity to be a homemaker,” and the look Andi gives him is priceless. Chris is immediately like, “HAHA JUST KIDDING,” but we all know he wasn’t. Despite the fact that she’d probably have no future in Arlington, Iowa, Andi does like his manly tractor and his family is really sweet.
Josh’s hometown date
OMG, sports. That’s all I can really say about Andi’s visit to Josh’s hometown – which is apparently Tampa, Florida, even though he keeps saying Atlanta. He takes Andi to a baseball field. They play baseball. Did you know that Josh used to play baseball professionally? I’ll bet you did. Andi, by the way, is wearing the shortest short-shorts ever. I’m relieved when she changes for dinner with his parents. Instead of the usual conversation, most of dinner with Josh’s family is taken up by Josh’s younger brother, who apparently is going out for the NFL. Like, honestly, it’s all they talk about. Everyone sort of harasses Andi like, “Are you ready to commit yourself to following his athletic career like a religion?!” and Andi already knows this will cause fights for them, if they end up together. Josh cries about four times. It’s kind of a weird trip.
Marcus’s hometown date
Speaking of weird, let’s talk about Marcus. Marcus has been telling Andi that he loves her since maybe the third week of dating, so it’s no surprise when he comes on really strong here. It’s still creepy, though. Also creepy? His unnecessary replay of the striptease from their first date, all the way down to his blurred-out crotch in tighty-whitey briefs. Yikes. I mean, he looks good, but there’s just lines, man, and Marcus doesn’t know about any of them. They spend a lot of time discussing “Marcus’s past” like he’s been in maximum security prison or something when really he just had a sort-of-difficult childhood. His mother has an unexplained European accent and it just adds to the weirdness. Andi seems to be struggling by the end of the night.
After hometown dates, a lot of time is spent on the Eric Hill news, which totally disrupts the flow of the show. It’s not really about the remaining men, anymore. Despite breaking down in tears several times, though, Andi goes through with the rose ceremony. Josh, Nick and Chris all receive roses. Poor Marcus. Andi keeps saying how they’re all going to get through Eric’s death together, but then she sends him home. Must’ve been a pretty rough week for him. He’s naturally devastated because he thinks Andi is his soulmate. It’s a depressing end to a depressing episode.
Next week: Andi & co. hit the DR and she chooses her final two!