Ladies Of London: Etiquette Schmetiquette, I Drank All Your Champagne

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Bad news, Ladies Of London fans: next week is the season finale. I cannot believe this glorious show will be over already! I am hopeful that it will be renewed – hell, if they renewed Below Deck, it has to be, right? As we prepare ourselves for next week’s finale, our favorite Brits and Americans prepare themselves for a Caroline Stanbury dinner party. This party promises great food, perfect decor, plenty of booze and, of course, drama. But let’s see what our ladies got up to before the party started.

Juliet

Juliet doesn’t have a very good time this week. Caroline invites both Juliet and Noelle over for an etiquette class, which she poses as a refresher before her dinner party – but it’s obviously meant to correct her silly American friends’ behavior. Based on the way Juliet and Noelle passed their food back and forth down the table at Mapperton House, they both need this. Of course, if you ask Juliet, she could teach the British a thing or two. Americans, she says, are just honest. She is honest! Honesty is a more proper way to respect your host than, say, having basic table manners. Slurping your spaghetti? No biggie, so long as you’re saying how you truly feel. Good lord. I wish Juliet would stop representing Americans. We are not all you, honey. Naturally, Juliet takes offense to the etiquette course and gets nothing out of it, but I guess that was to be expected. Fortunately for her, I think there will be enough drama at Caroline’s dinner party to hide any bad manners she might exhibit.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Noelle

Noelle is digging herself deeper and deeper into the sh*t, you guys. She just cannot seem to help herself. When she’s with Caroline, she talks about Caprice. When she’s with Caprice, she talks about Caroline. She insists on hosting Caprice’s party, but also tells Caprice that Caroline doesn’t want her to. At one point, Juliet accuses her of stirring the pot and, for once, I have to agree with her. Noelle is stirring it up for no reason – other than she wants to be the center of attention. I think she likes the idea of these two powerful women fighting over her. Of course, Noelle is insignificant in the C vs. C power struggle – they just want to have the most friends, they don’t care who they are. But I guess whatever makes you feel better, right? Noelle demonstrates how much she learned at etiquette class by drinking half the bottle of champagne on the way to Caroline’s party. “I brought you this!” she drunkenly tells Caroline, presenting her with a half-empty bottle. Classy.

Marissa

Marissa sits around and watches all of her friends act like schmucks this week. I kind of feel bad for her. I also think she’s right to defend herself, when discussing Caprice’s baby shower. If your pregnant friend asks you to throw a shower, you say yes. She’s not to blame, here. Unlike Noelle, she’s truly stuck in the middle and cannot help it.

Julie

Like Marissa, Julie comes off looking like a rose this week. She provides comfort to Annabelle, who is still quite injured. She provides support to Caprice, who is an emotional mess. She even patiently listens to a drunk and babbling Noelle, who feels “so much guilt” over Caroline and Caprice. Do you think Juliet just listens to all of these hot messes and then goes home to her castle, rolls around in piles of diamonds and laughs? I do.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Annabelle

Poor Annabelle. After breaking her pelvis, she’s stuck in bed (and in a lot of pain) for the next month. Luckily, she has plenty of good friends. Caroline stops by with a stack of funny DVDs and a huge TV, because hey, why not? Must be nice! Of course, being injured so seriously – and nearly dying – has put things in perspective for Annabelle. Her friends and their petty fighting seems so silly to her. She recommends that they all take the high road, show support for one another and move on. Good advice! Does anyone listen to her? Nope.

Caroline

Caroline really knows how to be the HBIC. This is why I think she will always win over Caprice – only Caroline would think to force her friends into an etiquette course before coming to her house for dinner. I mean, wow. That’s some serious Mean Girls sh*t right there. But somehow, she gets away with it! I guess it’s because Caroline always tries to do the right thing. For instance, she invites Caprice to her dinner party, despite their falling out. Why? It’s proper of her. Okay, Bravo probably also told her to – but hey, whatever! It’s not like it’s some tiny gathering. No, Caroline Stanbury doesn’t do anything small. Her dinner parties are A Big Deal. The tables are exquisite, the food is divine and the champagne is flowing – even Noelle’s half-empty bottle gets some more attention. Sounds like a good time to me! You wouldn’t even know that Caroline is ready for battle.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Caprice

Caprice is freaking out, y’all. In the United States, her surrogate is dilating and she’s anxious to get on that plane and be there with her. What does the very emotional Caprice do? She cries about it. After realizing that her surrogate probably has a couple weeks to go, she calms down – but just a little. Her boyfriend Ty pokes fun at her for overreacting. Caprice cries about it. See, things are still very hectic for her. Right before her trip to the US, she has a major photo shoot planned for her lingerie line. It’s the first time Caprice will not be modeling herself, which bruises her ego a bit and also makes her nervous. As a veteran model and the business owner, things have to be perfect. She cries over it. Fortunately, the shoot goes well. Unfortunately, dumb meddling Noelle shows up to ruin her calm.  “Caroline is giving me a hard time about the baby shower,” she tells Caprice. Caprice – who is probably at about 500 on the 1-10 scale of emotional overload, thinks this is the meanest, most horrible thing she’s ever heard. She cries about it. Even though she’s leaving for America the next day, she must confront Caroline! Uh oh. The episode ends with her arriving to the dinner party, ready for a confrontation.

Source: Bravo TV
Source: Bravo TV

Next week: The season finale! What will happen when Caprice gets to Caroline’s dinner party? Will there be a huge fight? Will Caprice have her baby like, right there? Will she cry? (Yes, she will cry)

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Digital strategist. Pop culture junkie. Comic nerd. Bravo TV fan. Nap aficionado. Lover of fuzzy slippers, cardigans, decorative pillows, glitter, kittens, pie.

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