Once someone has thrown their own leg at another person, where do you go from there? This is the question I pose to Real Housewives Of New York City fans. By now, we’ve all seen it – if not on the show, in various clips or gifs. In the season finale of RHONY, Aviva Drescher threw her leg. Yes, her leg. A grown woman removed her prosthesis and tossed it at another grown woman in the middle of a New York City restaurant. It was, by all accounts, f*cking hilarious to watch and I laughed my head off right along with the Countess LuAnn. How could I not? It was funny. But now I ask you: now what?
Surely, this was a last ditch effort from Aviva. All season, she’s been on a slow and steady decline. She went from annoying to desperate to barely there – and no one really missed her. Between #BookGate and her absence throughout the last leg (ha!) of the season, it was easy to write Aviva off completely. So obviously – obviously – this was her final attempt at staying relevant. Every move at Sonja’s “Team Sonja” party was calculated, from her silly x-rays to her weird jokes and yes, to the leg. You know she stood in front of the mirror, practicing. “The only thing artificial about me….[dramatic pause]…IS THIS!” No wait, more emphasis on the last word. “…IS THIS!” Yes, yes, that’s it. You’ll show them, Aviva. You’ll show them all…and you’ll be a star.
But the thing is, as funny as it was, I don’t think it worked. The reaction from most guests was sheer horror. “I’m going to vomit,” cried Kristen, running the other way. “I’m done,” declared Carole, shaking her head in disgust. Onlookers gaped and snickered. But no one applauded. No one yelled, “You tell her, Aviva!” and patted her on the back. Everyone was baffled because she threw her leg. I mean, Jesus. She threw her f*cking leg.
So, where do we go from here? Well, I cannot predict what the casting gods (and Andy Cohen) will decide, but if I had my say, I’d make the following requests:
1. Fire Aviva .
She’s no longer interesting as a character. Sonja is her last lingering friend, and their friendship is nothing to write home about. The women hate her. This isn’t a feud or a rift in the cast. This is pure hatred. And beyond interacting with her castmates, what does she have? Reed is like a potted plant. We all know how I feel about her father. She doesn’t have a job outside the home, but her children aren’t a part of the show. Let’s face it: there is no more story for Aviva. Let her go.
2. Demote Carole to “friend of the housewives” and bring LuAnn back full time.
Don’t get me wrong – I love Carole Radziwill. But really, what is she doing on this show? She’s interesting, but not dramatic. She’s eccentric, but not crazy. She’s smart and successful, but not in the Ramona Pinot Grigio way. Like, in a real way. A way she doesn’t have to sell nonstop. So…what’s her purpose? Carole is great, but not really Housewife material. Which leads me to LuAnn – is it just me or did our Countess become 100% more likable this season? Her kids are grown up and she’s single again. Time for LuAnn to make a comeback!
3. Send Sonja and Ramona to the background and bring Heather and Kristen to the forefront.
Sure, Ramonja make for some great television. But let’s be real – they’re on their way out, right? For years, their stories have been redundant, and now they’re both more parodies of themselves than anything else. It’s time to bring newer, younger blood into the spotlight. Kristen and Heather are perfect: they’re close friends with a competitive streak. They’re emotional and opinionated. Josh will take Heather’s side in an argument more often than not. I mean, this has perfect RHONY drama written all over it. And speaking of Heather…
4. Give Heather an A-plot.
Heather Thomson is probably as close to Bethenny Frankel as we’re going to get. She’s got a keen business sense, she tells it like it is and she’s not afraid to stand up for herself. So why hasn’t she ever had the spotlight? Heather had some standout moments this season, but she was always reacting to someone else’s fight. Only in Montana did we see that spark of anger between her and Kristen. Next season, give Heather more to do and let her start her own drama.
5. Give Sonja’s interns their own spin-off
Finally, let’s be honest. We all want to see what life is like for Team Sonja. If the human garbage from Vanderpump Rules can get their own show, why not Sonja’s interns? MAKE IT HAPPEN, ANDY COHEN.