Last week, Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars Teresa and Joe Giudice were both sentenced to serve time in jail after pleading guilty to multiple counts of fraud. Teresa will serve 15 months, while Joe will serve 41 months and then he’ll face deportation after his release. Why? Because they’re criminals. This isn’t really a judgement call in any sense of the word except the legal sense. They committed crimes, took a plea deal for said crimes, and now they will serve time in jail. For their crimes.
However, this verdict was shocking – shocking! – to Teresa who, along with Joe, recently sat down with Andy Cohen for a very special episode of Watch What Happens Live. The interview, which aired last night, taught us many things about Teresa.
1. Teresa doesn’t understand what a plea deal means. “I thought my lawyer was going to fight for me. That’s what lawyers do. That’s pretty much that’s why you hire an attorney,” she told Andy, even though the lawyers were the ones who bargained down their 39 counts of fraud to four (FOUR!!) in the first place. She realizes that she and Joe were facing decades in prison, right? She realizes that she could have received up to 27 months even after the plea, but only got 15? No? Okay.
2. Teresa doesn’t understand the consequences of signing documents without reading them. “I do need to read things before I sign them. I do need to understand things before I sign them,” she said. She’s “a trustworthy person,” she went on, but I am pretty sure she meant to say “trusting.” The really hilarious thing is, though, that she’s referring again to the plea deal…which she didn’t read, I guess? The irony here is, of course, that she’s going to jail because she signed falsified documents from her own husband. Were those also confusing, or did she forget to read them, too? Later, she tells Andy Cohen, “Whatever Joe told me to sign, I signed.” So…oh, nevermind.
3. Teresa and Joe have no idea what “keeping up with the Joneses” means. Do they think the British Royal Family’s last name is Jones? Or that Bill Gates’ name is actually Bill Jones and Gates is like, his stage name? I mean, who is she trying to keep up with, then? “I’m not trying to keep up with the Joneses. I’m not trying to spend money that I don’t have,” she said, even though she lives in a palatial estate made entirely of imported Italian marble. Even though the Giudices are millions of dollars in debt – debt obtained by credit card expenses. Credit, not money they actually had. Um.
Soon, Bravo will air part two of this very special interview, because of course they will. Here’s a sneak peek – and kudos to Andy for being hard on them.