Last week, time got away from me and I didn’t get around to writing my usual Arrow recap, or evaluating Oliver on the Oliver Queen Stupidity Index. I feel kind of bad about that, especially after his disastrous showing the week prior (-635, ouch). In all honesty, I think Ollie would’ve done alright last week, even when faced with the ghosts of Felicity’s (hot hacker goth) past. He helped her save the day and was only a jerk about it like, once. Then again, he willingly moved into a loft owned by not-dead Malcolm Merlyn, which you know is going to come back and bite him in the ass at some point. But still, it wouldn’t have been worse than -635, right? I’m giving Ollie the benefit of the doubt. This week, Oliver and Laurel butt heads over her new hot boxing buddy Ted Grant, while Roy deals with those pesky recurring murder dreams. Let’s see how Ollie did.
We immediately begin with Oliver and Roy out on a mission, but Roy’s distracted. -10 from Oliver for telling him, “Get your head in the game,” because I am going to have this in my head for the rest of the week.
+10 for being more understanding once they’re back at home base. Oliver’s right when he says that he wouldn’t be much of a teacher if he let Roy get himself killed because he’s too tired to fight.
-20 usual points deducted for Oliver’s flashback hair. Also, has he even bothered to change his shirt once in Hong Kong? I know it sucks to be abducted and forced to carry out assassinations for A.R.G.U.S., but you can’t just ignore personal grooming.
-20 more because flashback!Oliver is so damn whiny, I want to punch him in his throat.
No points, but Laurel’s ugly boxing face rivals Clarie Danes’ ugly crying face.
This isn’t really Oliver’s fault, so I won’t deduct any points, but couldn’t Stephen Amell have at least tried to pronounce Latin names? I know the guy’s Canadian and all, but yikes. Please stop saying “Paco,” and never say it again.
+10 for keeping his arrow steadily aimed at Ted Grant, even when he’s surprised by Laurel’s appearance. I make fun of him a lot, but Oliver is a damn good soldier when he needs to be. He doesn’t even flinch.
+10 for rightly guessing that Laurel is having Ted Grant train her for more than boxing. Maybe Oliver saw those recent pics.
Oliver gets another +15 for warning Laurel to keep an eye on Ted without preaching to her like a weird, overly protective father figure. I’m glad he’s stopped doing that with her.
Okay, it’s pretty cute watching flashback!Oliver try to trigger his memory by playing a matching game with Maseo’s son. Even with that hair, I’ll give him +5.
For a while, it’s really looking like Ted Grant is the murderer Oliver and the gang are after. Laurel vouches for Ted and swears he’s innocent, but +20 to Oliver for saying, “Just because Laurel trusts him doesn’t mean I have to.” I mean, this is the girl who went Christmas shopping with Sebastian Blood, after all.
+25 for the badass arrow-in-a-boxing-glove move when fighting with Ted. Seriously, Ollie gots the skills.
“Masks are also useful for serial killer,” says Oliver, who is currently wearing a mask. -10
It’s petty, but when referring to his own secret lair in comparison to Ted’s, Oliver says, “Mine’s bigger.” It made me laugh. +5
Oh, dang, nevermind. -40 because Oliver lectures the sh*t out of Laurel and it’s completely hypocritical. “Did you know that you’re working with a vigilante who has killed someone?!” he growls accusingly, even though he is literally the same exact thing, except he’s killed more people. Um. No, Oliver. You don’t get to have this fight.
-500 unrelated points for this entire “Roy killed Sara with residual Mirakuru in his blood stream” plot because I hate it and I hate Roy’s sad little face.
-50 because Oliver seriously just lets Roy confess to killing Sara and then leave like, oh okay, go home kiddo! What the eff.
+100 unrelated points to Captain Lance for his “You sure can pick ’em!” remark to Laurel after arresting Ted for dozens of murders. Snort.
I think it was pretty dumb of Oliver to let a potentially murderous Roy walk out, but I have to give him +30 for standing by Roy and taking responsibility for him. The (insanely obvious, beat you over the head, unsubtle) parallels between Ted’s psycho ex-apprentice Isaac and Oliver/Roy show us that you can’t create a weapon and then let him go when he screws up.
“Don’t abandon me.” –Roy. “Never” –Oliver. *sniffle* +20
Stupid show, making me think Roy killed Sara and he didn’t kill Sara. -100 unrelated points because OMG. DUMB.
+20 to Oliver for helping Roy remember, but -15 for failing to comfort him when he remembers that he did actually murder someone. Not Sara, but a cop, while he was on the Mirakuru. Ollie is a good mentor, but he’s not so great with the consoling.
“Have you ever heard of steganography?” –Maseo. “Is that the dinosaur with the plates on its back?” –Oliver. I can’t decide if I should deduct points for him being such an idiot, or give him points because it made me laugh. I’ll call it even.
Looks like Oliver ends up on the positive end of the Oliver Queen Stupidity Index this week, but just barely with 5 points. He was doing so well, but then some dumb moves at the end dropped his score. Let’s see how he does next week with…another archer?