Let me get this off my chest: there are few things in life I regret more than reading the 50 Shades Of Grey trilogy. Yes, I read the entire trilogy. Yes, it was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life and no, I will never, ever get those precious hours back. I must live with my mistakes and forge ahead. I assume this is also what Jamie Dornan will say in about two weeks, if he’s not saying it already. Have you seen The Fall? The Fall is so good, you guys. Jamie Dornan is nothing short of fantastic in The Fall. I don’t know why he did this movie. (I don’t know much about Dakota Johnson, but I also wonder why she did this movie, being a literate woman and all, but whatever).
My point is, the books are terrible. The movie is undoubtedly terrible. The press tour has been painfully terrible, though admittedly more interesting to follow than the hundreds of pages of drivel written by E.L. James. However, last night on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon managed to make it bearable. Behold, “50 Accents Of Grey,” a delightful video where you get to hear Jamie Dornan say “nipple clamps” in an impressive Scottish brogue.